Sunday, December 6, 2009

'Bones': 'Avatar' gets some aggressive product placement

By Liz Pardue

December 3, 2009 8:28 PM

bones1203_290.jpg"Bones" hit a new product placement low this week with a sideplot entirely based around how awesome "Avatar" is. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do, but this was pretty egregious.

And the main plot was very obviously based on the (extremely awesome) documentary film "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters." I'm not sure what to do with that other than to call it a homage in which (spoiler alert!) the hero of the movie is instead murdered and proved a cheater. Can't imagine Steve Wiebe is too happy about that! But I'm getting ahead of myself...

The Case: Do you think the writers sit around a table brainstorming disgusting ways to find a body? Because they've truly outdone themselves this week with the oily, rotting body in a tank of fast-food fryer oil. As Cam puts it, the cause of death was "drowning and cooking." Uggggh. Our victim, Steve, was a mailman by day, video game rock star by night. His game of choice: "Punky Pong." Ha, why not just call it "Schmonkey Schmong"? Punky Pong just sounds like some "Punky Brewster"-branded version of Pong. Whatever that would look like. At any rate, after his "tempura'd" body is de-fleshed using a tank of beer (seems appropriate), they discover that Steve was also attacked with a weapon.

His rival world champion, "Pong Master Bill" (aka Billy Mitchell in real life, complete with American flag tie), disputes Steve's perfect score. And when Brennan realizes that a wrist injury would have prevented Steve from playing at all, let alone completing a perfect game, they discover that Steve's perfect game was actually played by Dougie, an autistic boy on his mail route who's obsessed with Punky Pong.

Peacock poop leads them to Dougie's father, who snapped when Steve claimed credit for the only thing Dougie has in his life. So he hit Steve with a golf club...and then decided to throw him alive into a fryer? Now that's fatherly love.

The Squint Squad: Fisher the Aggressively Melancholic Intern (FAMI for short) scores tickets to "Avatar," and invites Sweets and Hodgins. First, there's an ad for "Avatar" during the commercials. Back on the show, commence actual "Avatar" footage being shown, complete with reverent comments about the CGI, and phrases like "this is so much more than a movie." Yeah. And they basically keep talking about the amazing significance of "Avatar" throughout the episode, as they camp out in shifts to get good seats. This honestly might be the most unironically in-your-face case of product placement I've ever seen. I suppose I should be glad it's a movie and not soda or a car...

johnfrancisdaley_bones_s5_290.jpgWhen Sweets finds out that FAMI has slept with nearly 100 women (really?), he gets insecure and makes out with a very forward tattooed nerd in line. DUDE. That's not cool at all -- you have a girlfriend! Happily for his relationship with Daisy, Sweets backs off and FAMI takes over. In a tent. In the line. Yes. This happens. Hodgins kindly reminds Sweets that though FAMI may "pitch a tent" with many women, Sweets has been with one woman many, many more times. Like seriously, a lot. Plus, FAMI is so busy rolling around in the tent that he misses the movie.

Booth and Brennan: An adorably sheepish Booth had Cam drag Brennan to the crime scene even though the body was still ... fleshy. If you can even call that flesh. After Cam busts him on it, she realizes that she's "in the middle" again, after getting "in the middle" of an argument about sports earlier. Ha. It's a moot point anyway, since all the flesh falls off (ugggghhhh) when they pull the body out of the tank.

Later, after the father confesses, Booth tells Brennan he understands the impulse to protect one's son, and explains it quite eloquently and touchingly. Brennan rightly points out that Dougie wouldn't have even cared about the record. But, she acknowledges that Booth also has a valid "number system" for seeing the world, even though it's different from hers. Growth, people. What you're seeing is growth. And then she tries to play Punky Pong and gets totally pwned.

Odds and Ends:

  • Props for continuity, since we finally see Hodgins' Angela tattoo ... as does Angela. Awkward! She's pissed at her dad and wants it lasered, partly because she doesn't want Hodgins sweating on her face. Fair enough.
  • Brennan trying to do "Bow chika wow wow" porn music = hysterical.
  • Brennan talking about banana incisors = almost equally hysterical.
  • Hmm ... we got a DVR-buster where Angela and Brennan talked about Punky Pong representing evolution. So now we have to watch out for those? Sigh...

Quotes:

  • FAMI: "Saturated fats...they're a killer!'
  • Brennan: "Oh, show him your gun. Kids love guns."
  • Payne: "Lance -- very phallic name you've got there."

Was anyone else out there who's seen "The King of Kong" weirded out by this episode? How did you feel about the "'Avatar' is the greatest movie of all time ever and everyone should go see it right away" plot?

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